Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sunday Doings - Letter to my Birthmom

To my Birthmother:

It's my Birthday!! So I just wanted to say Thank you! Thank you for making that extremely hard decision to let me go. I know that you tried really hard to keep me. I can only imagine what it was like to be 18, alone and with a baby who was only a month or so old. I can only imagine what it was that got you arrested and me taken away from you. Were you trying to steal diapers or formula?

I can only imagine how many tears you cried when that happened. How desperate you must have felt…How alone you must have been. Did you call your parents only to be turned away? Did they tell you that there was no way to help you and that it was time to let me go?? Or did you just try to figure it all out – on your own? I can’t imagine how you made that decision. I can’t imagine how you felt when you signed the papers and came to kiss me good-by that final time… I really can’t and so I cry… for you… for me…for us.

It wasn’t what you planned – you wanted to keep me, you tried – and I know in my heart that you tried your best. But it just didn’t work out. So please, please do not feel guilty. I hope that you have had a good life and that you have been happy. I love you. I miss you. Oh how I wish that I knew you. Really.

I spent years looking for you but you did your best to make sure you wouldn’t be found. I know you weren’t hiding from me, it was from someone else – maybe your parents? Or the guy who got you pregnant? I wish that you knew how much I wish I could tell you – it all worked out ok, and I don’t hate you. I don’t want to ruin your life or to uncover any secrets if your current family has no idea I exist…I just wanted to tell you – Thank you. I forgive you and I’m ok… and if you ever want to look for me – I’m right here. So Happy Birthday - thanks for having me!!

Love Glorya Jean

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